National Economy

Tonight Joe Cramer of MSNBC’s “Mad Money” appeared on “The Colbert Report.” He told Stephen that felt the US’s economy was the worst in the world, surpassing places like Columbia, and Mexico, and other countries I didn’t know the names of because I cheated my way through geography.

I also read several days ago that we owe China over $600 billion dollars. How the hell does something like that happen? In all seriousness, I blame China for allowing us to do that. After we blew through the first $200 billion they should have told us that we weren’t responsible enough to handle money and that until we proved we could handle our allowance like a big country we weren’t getting any more.

Also, I don’t think we respect China quite as much as we should, otherwise we wouldn’t be into’em for as much dough as we are. I have a feeling that when most Americans think of a typical Chinese citizen they either picture Long Duck Dong, or a Fu Manchu lookin’ guy pulling a rickshaw. I’m sorry to break it to you, but not every Chinese person is as affable as Jackie Chan. If we don’t pay them their money I have a feeling that in the not so distant future our parades will contain more goose-stepping than most people will be comfortable with.

To top all this off, I then read that Bill Gates has dropped the dollar, and has begun to invest in the Euro instead. Now, as much as I resent the fact that Bill Gates pretty much controls the world with Windows, as ruling monarch over all of Nerdom I think I should follow my Nerd King. I pledge that from now on the only currency I carry will be Monopoly money. I know it’s not the same as the Euro, but it’s almost as colorful, and to me that counts. The way I see it, any currency conversion where you leave with something other than USD spells financial security, and pretty colors are always considered a bonus.