The Early Hours Bring Out The Weirdness
Sometimes late at night I like to explore the blogosphere via the “Next Blog” button at the top of the page. That button is the internet equivalent of a ticket to the carnival…you’ll probably enjoy yourself immensely, but only after you become acclimated to all the freaks.
I’ve found one recurring motif that connects all the bad writing and self-indulgent ranting: the self-photograph. I’m sure you’ve seen them. They’re usually poorly lit and the subject is trying painstakingly hard to look introspective and moody. In fact, I remember reading somewhere that the creators of Myspace use millions of self-photographs daily to fuel their massive servers.
Well, as you may have noticed, I’m experiencing something of a draught in the self-photograph area here at Hyperliterature, so tonight at 3:30 A.M. I decided to try my hand at the most popular form of photography on the internet today.
I’d like to share my attempts at achieving the perfect self-photo:
After my first photo I discovered that self-photography was no walk in the park as I had previously suspected. This was going to take some work, but I was determined to capture a self-photo with the perfect combination of ego-centricity and correct body placement.
Damn! Much too close, even for something as ego-centric as the self-photo.
Ok. I botched this one up completely. I don’t even remember taking this one, but I gotta admit, Ellie does have the self-photo vibe goin’ on. I’m jealous.
Now with this photo I felt as if I was making progress. I really liked this one, and for a moment considered using it next year in our Christmas cards. Unfortunately a quick review of self-photos throughout the internets revealed my joy in this photo as highly inappropriate. I needed a much more somber tone.
BINGO! But I still felt as if something was missing…and then it hit me: I’m not canting the camera at a weird, vertigo-inducing angle. It’s gotta look like a drunk(er?) Orson Welles shot the photo, and this one just conforms to the x axis much too perfectly.
Holy crap that looks narssissic! That’s exactly what I was after, weird-angle and all. After a few color tweaks compliments of Photoshop I'm proud to present you with:
There. Now I feel like an honest-to-goodness blogger and perfectly prepared to begin a MySpace page.
I’ve found one recurring motif that connects all the bad writing and self-indulgent ranting: the self-photograph. I’m sure you’ve seen them. They’re usually poorly lit and the subject is trying painstakingly hard to look introspective and moody. In fact, I remember reading somewhere that the creators of Myspace use millions of self-photographs daily to fuel their massive servers.
Well, as you may have noticed, I’m experiencing something of a draught in the self-photograph area here at Hyperliterature, so tonight at 3:30 A.M. I decided to try my hand at the most popular form of photography on the internet today.
I’d like to share my attempts at achieving the perfect self-photo:
After my first photo I discovered that self-photography was no walk in the park as I had previously suspected. This was going to take some work, but I was determined to capture a self-photo with the perfect combination of ego-centricity and correct body placement.
Damn! Much too close, even for something as ego-centric as the self-photo.
Ok. I botched this one up completely. I don’t even remember taking this one, but I gotta admit, Ellie does have the self-photo vibe goin’ on. I’m jealous.
Now with this photo I felt as if I was making progress. I really liked this one, and for a moment considered using it next year in our Christmas cards. Unfortunately a quick review of self-photos throughout the internets revealed my joy in this photo as highly inappropriate. I needed a much more somber tone.
BINGO! But I still felt as if something was missing…and then it hit me: I’m not canting the camera at a weird, vertigo-inducing angle. It’s gotta look like a drunk(er?) Orson Welles shot the photo, and this one just conforms to the x axis much too perfectly.
Holy crap that looks narssissic! That’s exactly what I was after, weird-angle and all. After a few color tweaks compliments of Photoshop I'm proud to present you with:
There. Now I feel like an honest-to-goodness blogger and perfectly prepared to begin a MySpace page.
posted by Mark A. at 4:01 AM
3 Comments:
ROFL Mark, you RULE! This is why I visit your blog entirely too many times a week - love your sense of humor, and I always feel cheered up after a visit. Kudos on the brooding self-photo, LOL!
ellie totally has you beat...
That brooding self-photo took me a lot of work...well, ok not really, but I'm glad it made you laugh.
Ellie does have me beat, but then again doesn't she always?
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